Guest Blog: Love Assets or Liabilities by Dr. Megan Fleming

Guest Blog: Love Assets or Liabilities by Dr. Megan Fleming

Dr. Megan Fleming
Dr. Megan Fleming, Nationally Recognized Sex & Relationship Expert joins this week’s episode of #LOVEGASM

Dear Love Tribe,

This week, we are SO excited to share with you my conversation with Nationally Recognized Sex & Relationship Expert, Dr. Megan Fleming on the pursuit of happily ever after and all that can get in the way.

In our 3 part interview on LOVEGASM, Dr. Megan shared so much wisdom and thought provoking perspectives that it certainly inspired me to be a better mate and partner to my husband. One of the most powerful parts of our conversation was when Dr. Megan discussed how the things we love most at the beginning, turn out to be the things that annoy us most down the road. You remember when you loved how laid back your mate was, and now you see them as lazy? Or the drive that inspired you that now seems like your lover is a control freak? It turns out, we OWN that perspective!

I was so inspired by Dr. Megan, that I asked her to contribute a blog post here that outlines those perspectives. Take a look below and enjoy this week’s conversation with Dr. Megan Fleming on #LOVEGASM

Love,

Summers

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Guest Blog: Love Assets or Liabilities by Dr. Megan Fleming

Have you ever wondered why some of the traits that once drew you to your partner have now become a pain point, a true frustration?

It’s an interesting and dare I say, predictable thing that happens in most relationships. In the beginning, you were likely attracted to your partner because of qualities that you liked and perhaps would like more of in yourself, to be more laid back or to be more organized and on top of things, for instance.

Then, months or years into your relationship, those same qualities make you want to pull your hair out. You wonder if you were duped.

What happened?

Your perspective shifted! Often, a trait that initially attracted you to your partner you might now be seeing from a180 degree opposing lens. I’m inviting you now to get really curious about the “why” and “how” your perspective changed and to re-direct your attention to the glass half full, the asset versus the liability/half empty perspective.

Why?

Because you can decide what you pay attention to and I assure you, they feel quite different.

I can’t say it enough; any quality can be seen or experienced as an asset or a liability depending on your perspective.

Albert Ellis a pioneer in the field of Psychology use to say, stop disturbing yourself by choosing to wear $hit colored glasses.

Hope this list gives you some laughs and becomes the opportunity to consciously choose your perspective (lens).

“In the beginning, I loved that my partner was”

VS

“Now, I can’t stand (want to kill off) that my partner is”

In the Beginning As I see it now
So into me! Possessive
Extremely enthusiastic Crazy
Laid back Lazy
Smart Condescending
Successful & ambitious Neglectful & workaholic
Life of the party Drinks too much
Organized and on top of things Obsessive and compulsive, Control freak
Self-aware Self-obsessed
Takes care of me Never lets me do what I want
Needs me Needy
Great and involved parent Never leaves their kids alone
Has high standards Impossible to please
Great relationships with family and friends Never has time for me
Fun! Never takes anything seriously
Lives by their own rules Sociopath
Emotionally strong Never know what they are feeling
Nurturing Smothering
Passionate for work Unavailable
Has high standards Impossible to please
Great with money/saver Frugal/stingy
Carefree Careless
Determined Can’t take no for an answer
Nurturing Smothering

 

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